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May 25 2017

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sitta-pusilla:

This is your periodic reminder to stop feeding, petting, grabbing, and otherwise harassing the wildlife. In addition to the danger you put yourself and other people in, when you habituate a wild animal to human food or contact you set them up for disaster. A fed animal is a dead animal.

prokopetz:

I sometimes wonder if folks who aren’t particularly familiar with tabletop roleplaying understand that the comparisons between Dungeons & Dragons and the cinematic Guardians of the Galaxy are in no way humorous or ironic: that is literally exactly what a high-level D&D party looks like. Like, right down to the finest details.

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protoben:

I can’t deal with this.

mbtipartyblog:

partyclowns:

mbtipartyblog:

okay, 

  • scooby said ‘’ruh roh’’ 
  • shaggy said ‘’zoinks’’
  • velma said ‘’jinkies’’
  • daphne said ‘’jeepers’’

what did fred say

fred says Fuck

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LET FRED SAY FUCK

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May 24 2017

Injury angst for writing dummies.

sheikofthesheikah:

shittor:

sheikofthesheikah:

Hospitals and injury are always such a staple of angst fics, but 9 times out of 10 the author has clearly never been in an emergency situation and the scenes always come off as over-dramatized and completely unbelievable. So here’s a crash course on hospital life and emergencies for people who want authenticity. By someone who spends 85% of her time in a hospital. 

Emergency Departments/Ambulances.

  • Lights and sirens are usually reserved for the actively dying. Unless the person is receiving CPR, having a prolonged seizure or has an obstructed airway, the ambulance is not going to have lights and sirens blaring. I have, however, seen an ambulance throw their lights on just so they can get back to the station faster once. Fuckers made me late for work.
  • Defibrillators don’t do that. You know, that. People don’t go flying off the bed when they get shocked. But we do scream “CLEAR!!” before we shock the patient. Makes it fun.
  • A broken limb, surprisingly, is not a high priority for emergency personnel. Not unless said break is open and displaced enough that blood isn’t reaching a limb. And usually when it’s that bad, the person will have other injuries to go with it.
  • Visitors are not generally allowed to visit a patient who is unstable. Not even family. It’s far more likely that the family will be stuck outside settling in for a good long wait until they get the bad news or the marginally better news. Unless it’s a child. But if you’re writing dying children in your fics for the angst factor, I question you sir. 
  • Unstable means ‘not quite actively dying, but getting there’. A broken limb, again, is not unstable. Someone who came off their motorbike at 40mph and threw themselves across the bitumen is. 
  • CPR is rarely successful if someone needs it outside of hospital. And it is hard fucking work. Unless someone nearby is certified in advanced life support, someone who needs CPR is probably halfway down the golden tunnel moving towards the light. 
  • Emergency personnel ask questions. A lot of questions. So many fucking questions. They don’t just take their next victim and rush off behind the big white doors into the unknown with just a vague ‘WHAT HAPPENED? SHE HIT HER HEAD?? DON’T WORRY SIR!!!’ They’re going to get the sir and ask him so many questions about what happened that he’s going to go cross eyed. And then he’s going to have to repeat it to the doctor. And then the ICU consultant. And the police probably. 
  • In a trauma situation (aka multiple injuries (aka car accident, motorbike accident, falling off a cliff, falling off a horse, having a piano land on their head idfk you get the idea)) there are a lot of people involved. A lot. I can’t be fucked to go through them all, but there’s at least four doctors, the paramedics, five or six nurses, radiographers, surgeons, ICU consultants, students, and any other specialities that might be needed (midwives, neonatal transport, critical retrieval teams etc etc etc). There ain’t gonna be room to breathe almost when it comes to keeping someone alive.
  • Emergency departments are a life of their own so you should probably do a bit of research into what might happen to your character if they present there with some kind of illness or injury before you go ahead and scribble it down.

Wards

  • Nurses run them. No seriously. The patient will see the doctor for five minutes in their day. The nurse will do the rest. Unless the patient codes.
  • There is never a defibrillator just sitting nearby if a patient codes. 
  • And we don’t defibrillate every single code. 
  • If the code does need a defibrillator, they need CPR.
  • And ICU. 
  • They shouldn’t be on a ward. 
  • There are other people who work there too. Physiotherapists will always see patients who need rehab after breaking a limb. Usually legs, because they need to be shown how to use crutches properly.
  • Wards are separated depending on what the patient’s needs are. Hospitals aren’t separated into ICU, ER and Ward. It’s usually orthopaedic, cardiac, neuro, paediatric, maternity, neonatal ICU, gen surg, short stay surg, geriatric, palliative…figure out where your patient is gonna be. The care they get is different depending on where they are.

ICU.

  • A patient is only in ICU if they’re at risk of active dying. I swear to god if I see one more broken limb going into ICU in a fic to rank up the angst factor I’m gonna shit. It doesn’t happen. Stop being lazy. 
  • Tubed patients can be awake. True story. They can communicate too. Usually by writing, since having a dirty great tube down the windpipe tends to impede ones ability to talk. 
  • The nursing care is 1:1 on an intubated patient. Awake or not, the nurse is not gonna leave that room. No, not even to give your stricken lover a chance to say goodbye in private. There is no privacy. Honestly, that nurse has probably seen it all before anyway. 
  • ICU isn’t just reserved for intubated patients either. Major surgeries sometimes go here post-op to get intensive care before they’re stepped down. And by major I mean like, grandpa joe is getting his bladder removed because it’s full of cancer. 
  • Palliative patients and patients who are terminal will not go to ICU. Not unless they became terminally ill after hitting ICU. Usually those ones are unexpected deaths. Someone suffering from a long, slow, gradually life draining illness will probably go to a general ward for end of life care. They don’t need the kind of intensive care an ICU provides because…well..they’re not going to get it??

Operations.

  • No one gets rushed to theatre for a broken limb. Please stop. They can wait for several days before they get surgery on it. 
  • Honestly? No one gets ‘rushed’ to theatre at all. Not unless they are, again, actively dying, and surgery is needed to stop them from actively dying. 
  • Except emergency caesarians. Them babies will always get priority over old mate with the broken hip. A kid stuck in a birth canal and at risk of death by pelvis is a tad more urgent than a gall stone. And the midwives will run. I’ve never seen anyone run as fast as a midwife with a labouring woman on the bed heading to theatres for an emergency caesar.
  • Surgery doesn’t take as long as you think it does. Repairing a broken limb? Two hours, maybe three tops. Including time spent in recovery. Burst appendix? Half an hour on the table max, maybe an hour in recovery. Caesarian? Forty minutes or so. Major surgeries (organs like kidneys, liver and heart transplants, and major bowel surgeries) take longer. 
  • You’re never going to see the theatre nurses. Ever. They’re like their own little community of fabled myth who get to come to work in their sweatpants and only deal with unconscious people. It’s the ward nurse who does the pick up and drop offs. 

Anyway there’s probably way, way more that I’m forgetting to add but this is getting too long to keep writing shit. The moral of the story is do some research so you don’t look like an idiot when you’re writing your characters getting injured or having to be in hospital. It’s not Greys Anatomy in the real world and the angst isn’t going to be any more intense just because you’re writing shit like it is. 

Peace up.

Ya hear that, Buckley?
Loss.jpeg ain’t realistic.

of all the additions and replies on this post so far this is by far my fave.

radio-cybertron:

gokuma:

kleenexwoman:

genderlesssmol:

piranhapunk:

piranhapunk:

i foun d my old wallet in the drawer next to my bed and it had $400 in it im having a heart attack

reblog the aquabats! wallet of good fortune & you’ll b blessed w/ good fortune

HOLY SHIT I REBLOGGED THIS TWO DAYS AGO AND I JUST GOT A REFUND CHECK IN THE MAIL FOR 217.52!!!!

i reblogged this and my aunt sent me money from my dearly departed grandma

How do you not notice a lack of $400?

I just lost meh job help me?

saintalia:

saintalia:

saintalia:

straight friend: is she cute?

me: well first of all, all girls are cute, so jot that down

every terf that reblogs this owes every trans woman $25,000 sorry :/ i don’t make the rules that’s just my posts :/

#why stop at 25k #terfs owe every trans woman AT LEAST four times the national student debt average (via @pansnoot)

motion passed, it’s been amended

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shamefulbirb:

Happy Motivational Monday everyone! Sorry I missed last monday, but I figured  Arin would be a good one next for yall, and as a bonus, as per the grump, heres the rest of his tweet aahaha

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aquaman-shoes:

One of my all-time favorite twitter threads

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creativekandi:

Bill Nye should just be the answer to all our problems

mr-mononucleosis:

lunalovegouda:

The intro cards for Futurama have always been one of my favorite parts of the show because people always talk about the old Simpson’s couch gag but this is just pure gold… I mean-

It goes from everything from 

image

image

and then they made fun of how much everyone reacted to the the infamous ‘dead dog episode’ that I cried about…

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And then one time when the show got canceled…

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and then when it came back..

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you’re missing my favorite one though

image

wightlight:

imnotasweetie:

jean-bo-peep:

iwatobigreg:

c1efairy:

shouttogether:

hotfriend:

public high school things
•naruto kids
•kids punching windows
•kahoot
•"miss…..miss……c'mon"
•leaks coming from everywhere
•screams from every direction

•jeopardy review games
•chicken nuggets that are orange and all the same shape
•people fighting for no reason
•couples who make out in the hallway like they’re never gonna see each other again
•those kids who take the bathroom pass and disappear for half of class

•clapping in the middle of lunch for no reason?
•only going to the homecoming game
•being embarrassed by the student art in the hall
•that one teacher that no one calls mr./Mrs./miss/etc but instead just their last name
•hearing yelling from other classrooms and wondering wtf is going on????

- People who stop in the middle of the goddamn hallway
- That one kid who always has a winter coat on no matter what
- ‘Gay table’
- Kids who rap/blast rap music in the hallway
- “—– Please take off your hood/hat.”
- The bell doesn’t dismiss you I do
- We still have 3 minutes left don’t pack up yet or you’re getting a detention
- Mysterious ceiling stains
- Smoke coming out of the bathroom
-People who skip class and hide in the bathroom all period instead of leaving

  • those 3 kids who everyone knows are drug dealers
  • the secretary who is Tired
  • finding outdated memes printed out and pinned to the walls in teacher offices (ex: condescending willy wonka: “oh so that OTHER teacher didn’t give you homework?? i see”)
  • singing songs u learned in middle school language classes
  • the end of class is whenever someone shuffles their papers into a binder or moves their backpack, everyone else will follow like some freaky instinctual mimicry shit

have u ever seen something so american like… wtf

This all sounds so fucking weird…

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toonirl:

landofsomethingsomething:

this-that-and-other-crap:

oldsaltychp:

Keep it clean fuckers!

😎

I’m saving this on this blog for help writing Jake later

Alex Trebek is a swear word

Play fullscreen

beckyhop:

THE CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS MOVIE HAS A THEME SONG BY WEIRD AL YANKOVIC.

I wanna go back in time, visit my elementary school self, tell her that this is happening, and watch the excited freakout.

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copperbadge:

oft-goes-awry:

birdandmoon:

Feeling small? Here’s some motivation(?) from an owl.

(Note: Northern Pygmy-Owls don’t really catch moose, but they have been recorded dispatching red squirrels, northern flickers, and Gambel’s quails. They mostly hunt smaller things, though.)

@copperbadge, I found a friend for Lovelace.

I actually originally considered that breed for Lovelace! I only rejected it because I felt she would be so terribly small that she wouldn’t handle a cyborg wing as well as a larger owl. 

They are adorable though. Adorable and murderous.

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justbadpuns:

Here are the top 10 post here on justbadpuns this March

penicillium-pusher:

Ya know, I don’t think Skittles gets enough credit for filling their packages up with enough candy to satisfy the customer. I’m never disappointed by the amount of Skittles I get in one package. Thanks, Skittles. Good on ya.

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